Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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