I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
