All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
