Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
nutella sex= disaster
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
