can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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