Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
