Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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