You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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