Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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