I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I love having hate sex.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Just puked most of my soul out..
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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