lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
