How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
