can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
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This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
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Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
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