once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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