it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
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so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
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