Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
