My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Randomize
