i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
