OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize