Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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