I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Randomize