I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
