the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
