Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
