I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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