Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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