He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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