college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
