i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your like the ambassador to my penis.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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