Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize