well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
