I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
