well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
