Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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