go do what you do best...puke behind churches
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
as a side note pls kill me
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
