Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Randomize
