got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
