Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
