i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
