i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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