Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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