oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
