all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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