I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
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God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
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Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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