You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize