Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
