'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
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