he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
