You're my little dorito
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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