Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize