Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Randomize
