You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
