i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
