Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
