Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
