NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
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