...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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