Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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