there's paper in my vomit.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
